Santa Claus Made me Cry!
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Jubilee gets an answer from Santa Claus, and it surprises her....


Title: Santa Claus Is Coming to Town  
  
Author: Autumn  
  
Summery: Jubilee gets a reply from her letter to Santa Claus..  
  
Rating: G  
  
Thanks to: Carla for letting me play with the letter that 'Jubilee' wrote.  
  
** Indicates 'Santa Claus' answers  
  
(((((((((((((((((((  
  
Dear Santa dude.  
  
** Ms. Lee If you ever refer to me as "dude" again, I shall ensure that every waggling tongue is ripped out of your mouth and put on display for all the world to see.  
  
This is Jubilee here, like duh! But ya know that, you're like all seeing, like god huh?  
  
** In ways I am more powerful than God. I certainly command more respect at any rate. Tells you a lot about the human race, Christens in particular.  
  
Anyway, I think that seeing as ya jipped me last Christmas, which I am not going into, you totally owe me this year, and I have made one heck of a long list.  
  
** I believe that I checked your name, and it was at the top of the 'naughty' list. Be grateful for what you had.  
  
Firstly, I need a new yellow coat; St. John melted my old one and pretended that it was an accident. He is so totally obvious. Idiot.  
  
**St. John is perhaps far more perceptive than you would believe. Perhaps he recognized the significance of the colour yellow. It has been the colour of cowardice and sub standard treatment for years. Perhaps you should attempt to wrap your MTV saturated brain around that.  
  
Next I need some totally thin mesh material, not for me, for Marie, my bestest bud, she needs it to get her mojo on with her man, not that they seem to be having a problem, with all the sounds coming from their room, but ya know, I wanna make it easier for her, and Logan would love me for it too.  
  
**I was under the impression that you lived at a school. Cleary, by your use of the non-existent word 'bestest' you must not be getting your money's worth for your education.  
  
I need some pixie Styx, they are lovely dude, seriously like the worlds best invention, I know that the Prof, thinks that I need to stay away from pure sugar like that, after the biting incident, but it was only that one time and Jean shouldn't have tried to take my candy away from me.  
  
** Perhaps 'the Prof' is right in his assessment of sugar. It would certainly be the first thing he and I agreed on lately. Complaining that Jean took your candy away, are you a child? There are far more important things to worry about than Jean the candy thief.  
  
Speaking of Jean if ya have any anti-bitch powder I could do with a whole bag of that.  
  
**If she is forced to tolerate your mindless jabbering day in and day out, it's no wonder she's rather ill tempered.  
  
Can ya get me a lap top computer too, 'cos I wanna give it too Kitty, who is mondo clever, but I can't afford one on my allowance, so that would be much appreciated.  
  
** Pure as your intentions are for your friend, I am afraid that I cannot aid in this most noble pursuit. Your friend needs to learn for herself to ask for the means that she wished to have, to pursue her intellectual expandature.  
  
Hmmm, nothing for St. John after melting my coat, and nothing for Bobby who froze me to the toilet seat the other day for a full two hours.  
  
** A word of advice. Either eliminate your adversaries, or as you young people are fond of saying these days, like totally get over it!  
  
Oh! And a box of expensive chocolates and red roses, so that I can pretend that I have a secret admirer, so that Remy would get offa his ass and make a pass at me already!  
  
**I can't see why on earth he wouldn't be attracted to your, undoubtable charms.  
  
  
  
One more thing, I think that you should get the Prof a new wheelchair, one made outta plastic so that old Magneto can't get hold of him and control it.  
  
**Charles Xavier certainly has the money to get himself ten new wheelchairs if he so desires. Did it ever occur to you that he likes to be held by that old Magneto?  
  
Well remember you owe me.  
  
  
  
Much appreciated,  
  
** I somehow doubt it. And for future reference, don't ever write to me again.  
  
S. Claus  
  
  
  
"Floyd, would you be so kind as to postmark this from the North Pole?" A rich, cultured voice asked from inside the plastic bars.  
  
"I'll see that it's done. Who's it for?"  
  
"A very special girl." he answered.  
  
###########  
  
One Week Later at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters...  
  
"Hey Jubes, this came for ya" Rogue called, tossing the letter to the yellow clad girl.  
  
"Hey, it's from the North Pole!" Jubilee squealed. She tore open the letter and began to read quietly. Her face grew pale as the letter progressed. Finally she glanced upwards, looking horror struck.  
  
"What's wrong Jubes?" Marie asked her friend, wondering what could have caused such a reaction.  
  
"I think Santa Claus is from hell!" she said shoving the letter into Marie's hands before rushing out of the room.  
  
Marie took the letter and began to read.  
  
Somewhere in maximum security, a certain mutant was laughing. 


End file.
